Friday, May 24, 2013

Thoughts on boy-girl relationships in class

The following is something included in "new student" info and as a general class policy for the Silhouette Ballroom Dance team:
Because we are focusing on the character and virtue of each student rather than their dancing, we believe that all youth in our program should proactively work towards developing solid friendships with everyone else in this program. As a result, not only will teamwork abound, but youth will feel safe and surrounded by those who care about them.
Because friendship and teamwork is so important in our Studio, we prohibit exclusive dating between any two members of our youth. Students are welcome to date a variety of friends from our studio for fun and are encouraged to spend time as groups, but on a friendship level only. Pairing up results in part of the group being excluded and when things go bad, parts of the group taking sides. We want our youth to have good friendships and unity with one another and be able to enjoy their time without this concern.--Silhouette
This is an important issue, which I suggest each group take their own prayerful approach with using it as policy or suggestion.

Here is a letter Karen sent our youth two years ago addressing the same issue:
 "Lol, did I grab your attention with my catchy title? 

I was reading today an article by Neal A. Maxwell (Jesus, the Perfect Mentor  - excellent talk by the way) when a totally unrelated, but powerful thought kept coming to my head about the environment at Vanguard.  I have noticed that you guys share personal experiences, are not too afraid of making mistakes or saying the wrong things, and share a spirit of caring for one another.  I love that it is a safe environment where we can feel that we can try, fail, and move on - since we are all there to learn from each other and from our mistakes.  I think this safe environment is crucial for real learning to take place and real discussion to happen.

I love how you interact with one another and the kindness and respect that you show.  I really don't want anything to get in your way! 

So here is what I'm getting at - some of you (okay, maybe all) are at an age where you may have noticed that certain people of the opposite sex are somewhat...interesting?  That is a good thing - it's how Heavenly Father lets us know that we need to start preparing to be spouses and parents someday.  You can use that desire to work hard and learn a lot to prepare adequately for this great calling that will be yours faster than you even realize. 

Satan has a way of using all of these good things for his purposes though, and one way he does that is by getting us to focus too much on these feelings and distracting us from the learning that is supposed to take place because of them!  Do you see what could happen in Vanguard if people started telling each other who they "liked" and who they thought was "cute".  Eventually those people are bound to find out and then things would get awkward between certain people, or there would be exclusivity with some people and the safety we feel at Vanguard would be replaced with self-consciousness, and instead of an environment of learning we would have... public school (just kidding - this preoccupation with the opposite sex is pretty prevalent at lots of schools, but not everyone is taken in by it ;))  No, but instead of a safe environment where we are all friends that encourage one another, help one another,  and learn and grow together - we'd have a bunch of twitterpated youth in la-la land :x

So, I guess what I'm saying is please try to be good friends with everyone, keep fostering an environment of kindness to young men and women alike, and please don't get too caught up in "crushes" or other things that may distract you (and those around you) from really learning and sharing your incredible insights from one another.  Maybe it's a lot to ask, but from what I've seen in the respect you have towards one another, I think you're up to it.

Sorry if I'm out of place writing to you guys like this, but it's your own fault for making Vanguard such a safe place for me to share what's on my mind ;);)!"

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